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雅思大作文的多维论述法(一)

福州雅思培训作者:朗阁海外考试中心 时间:2017-11-10 14:36

摘要:雅思写作 观点类作文,和讨论类,问题解决类以及混合类相比,对大部分学生来说比较难,难点主要是审题。大部分考题并没有生词的干扰,学生很容易能理解题目本身,但往往很难分辨并且抓住题目论述的重心是什么。 例1: It is the responsibility of schools to teach st
  雅思写作观点类作文,和讨论类,问题解决类以及混合类相比,对大部分学生来说比较难,难点主要是审题。大部分考题并没有生词的干扰,学生很容易能理解题目本身,但往往很难分辨并且抓住题目论述的重心是什么。
  例1:
  It is the responsibility of schools to teach students good behavior in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
  这是2016年6月18日的一个观点类考题,题中陈述句部分显然是题目的观点。观点认为:学校除了给学生提供常规教育,还附有教学生好的行为的责任。学生看完,就会毫不犹豫地认同此观点,并且在主体部分会这样论述:
  Body 1:学校提供formal education的好处;
  Body 2:学校教good behavior的好处;
  很多学生或许认为这样的论述特别全面地提及了题中的所有内容,但如果仔细分析一下,就会发现这样的论述并没有抓住观点要强调的内容。而之所以会出现这样的偏差,是因为题中用了in addition to这样的短语,从字面上理解为除…之外,说明这是学校的正常教学内容,而在这个任务之外,教学生好的行为是不是学校的责任呢?因此学生只需要对此论述表达自己的观点即可,根本不需要提及formal education的内容。
  例2:
  The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
  这个观点类考题涉及环境污染的话题,题中观点认为提升油价是解决环境问题最好的方法。对于这个论述,学生的观点都统一表达为:disagree,接着学生在主体部分会这样论证:
  Body 1:涨油价为什么不能解决环境问题;
  Body 2:还有那些方法可以解决环境问题;
  但是学生发现,论证涨油价不能解决环境问题的时候似乎不是很顺利,不能很好地解释清楚,因为学生还是觉得这个方法有一定的作用。
  其实学生会出现这样的段落论证,主要原因在于学生没有真正理解否定后的观点到底是什么。我们可以把观点进行这样的否定:The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is not to increase the price of fuel. 而否定本题观点后变成解决环境问题最好的方法不是提高油价,说明本题否定的仅仅是限定词‘the best’,而不是这个方法本身,所以学生应该先肯定涨油价对解决环境问题的有效性,再来否定这个方法的绝对性。
  当抓住了论证主体,就需要进行框架构思。雅思写作的论述方法可以分为两种:单向论述法和辩证思维法。这两种论证方法并没有绝对的优劣之分,但针对不同的考题,会有些许的差别。在本文中,朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家们就这两种论述方法展开深入的探讨,希望能给考生一点帮助。
  一:单向论证法
  所谓‘单向论证’,更通俗地可以理解为‘一边倒’,即主体全部论证同一个内容,比如全部论证好处,或者坏处。这种论述方法对很多考生来说比较容易接受,不需要过多地考虑这个题目是涉及两个不同的对象或是一个对象的两个方面。
  考题解析:
  Some people think painting and drawing are as important as other subjects and they should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
  此题属于观点类,在整个陈述句部分用and连接前后两个内容,即绘画是否和其他学科一样重要以及绘画是否应该成为一门必修课。
  学生范文及解析:
  Art (用art来改述题中的painting and drawing)is valuable for people not only in daily life but also in study and work. Especially, painting and drawing are the important parts of art.(牵强地加入了个人的想法,和题目不一致) And I would like to support high schools to arrange painting and drawing as essential courses.(观点表述比较简单直接)
  分析:这样的开头段虽然没有太大的问题,但是从个人观点的表述可以发现,学生并没有真正理解题中的观点是什么。
  此题属于双观点题,两个观点之间用and连接,所以需要分别对两个观点表达自己的看法。
  修改后的观点:Personally, I completely agree that painting and drawing and other subjects are of equal importance, but I can hardly believe they have to be learned in high school.
  Painting and drawing are beneficial for people to develop correct value of life. (中心句很空洞,这是写中心句最大的问题。correct value of life是个抽象的概念,而且它包含的内容很多,仅仅说‘绘画有利于人们发展正确的人生价值’会让读者感到很模糊,不清楚到底是什么样的人生价值是正确的。)As for students, they are easy to be influenced by things surrounding them. (这个内容比较笼统,读完不清楚学生会受到什么影响) If they could enjoy some master pieces, they will be more likely to understand the world and life and they will have the ability to differentiate the beauty and ugliness. (这一句本身依然不合理,为什么欣赏了著名作品就会了解世界和分辨善恶美丑了呢,并且和上一句的逻辑不成立)Thus, painting and drawing are so important that they should become compulsory courses in high school education. (段落结尾不需要再次重复题目观点)
  Students also can express their ideas which they are too shy to show others easily by painting and drawing down.(这个中心句比较合理和具体) Sometimes, shy students are scared to be critical or teased so that they never express their true ideas in the public. Painting and drawing is a good way for those students to show themselves and become more confident. (这部分内容稍显单薄,可以补充多一点的内容,比如通过绘画具体的作品想要表达什么想法)On the contrary, they have fewer chance to express their own thoughts and they even become bewildered and stressful. They play an important role in students’ life as other academic courses.
  In addition, students who are busy studying in the high schools could release their pressure by painting or drawing. (不错的观点)High school students have to learn many academic and difficult courses and they have to adapt to quick pace of their study life. There will be a dramatic change for them if they are access to some painting and drawing courses. For example, they will escape from busy study life and be energetic again. (这并不是例子,很多学生有比较根深蒂固的中式思维,所以喜欢在表达中强行加入所谓的例子)They can also absorb knowledge efficiently after these courses because they keep a balance of study and rest.
  To summarize, painting and drawing can help students in many aspects including value of life, expressing and keeping a balance between study and rest.

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